THE ALABAMA SCRAMBLER

IS NOT A MYTH!

ATTENTION JEFFERSON COUNTY WE ARE ON A CODE: PURPLE (fuck you tristian) SCRAMBLER WATCH INDICATING A 5% CHANCE OF A DELTA CLASS SCRAMBLER EVENT. ---

“you’re retarded”

non-believer

fuck you

“there’s no goddamn WAY”

woman

the people aren’t ready but neither was I

“UMMM SOURCE!?”

redditer who listens to video essays

THE ALABAMA SCRAMBLER
(Scram-benis-homo-gelpethicus)

a lizard the size of a motorcycle (and twice as fast) native to the state of Alabama
thats right this shit could be IN YOUR BACKYARD
some say its impossible
so did I until I got ———————-

shocking!

look at what the scrambler did to this fuckin kid

this is where I live

have you ever dug too deep?

I’ve hunted this asshole for decades

me in my prime the mission has taken its toll

science can’t explain it…

OR WONT!

we ALL know how this story goes
ask too many questions and you get the paddlin

scrambler victim

they called me crazy

AND THEY WERE RIGHT!

He wont escape me now…

GENTLEMEN! BEHOLD!

THE SPV MARK 1 INTERCEPTOR

[S197 R-SCRAMBLER PURSUIT VEHICLE]

HOLY SHIT OVER THERE ☞

we lost alot of test pilots

COVERT, OVERT AND SUBVERT!

This BEAST is a heavily modified Ford [F-uck O-ff R-etarded D-rivers] S197 revision Mustang customized with:
> state of the art anti-scrambler tracking and pursuit technology
> on-board weapons
-twin linked 5.56 stoner 63 modular machine rifles
-fog light hellfire rocket pods
-scrambler net launcher
-smoke screen
-hologram decoy car projector
-ethanol racing fuel flame thrower (prototype)
> AI assisted combat driving assist
> Monte Carlo bars and a lightened flywheel
> 2 cans of busch light
>backup camera (on the fritz just hit the [ok] button on start and that check sensor notification goes away)
> kenwood sonar, cruise control delete and bukkake of other gadgets and shit